Suicidal Tendencies - Suicidal for Life (1994)

Plenty of people consider Suicidal for Life the worst Suicidal album. Which is fair. But first of all, those people are wrong because Still Cyco After All These Years exists. Second: it's not on streaming so it's my responsibility as a shitty blogger to keep it in digital circulation.

Third: I want to paint you a picture. Close your eyes. Wait, shit, you can't read like that. Open your eyes. Imagine it's the mid-90s, and you're a suburban kid in your early adolescence with pretty much the exact same taste in music as Beavis & Butthead, and you think "The Goat" is comedy's greatest achievement. Yesterday was your birthday and you got a nice little stack of CDs. You pop on the S.F.W. soundtrack, which you asked for because it features Marilyn Manson, Hole, and GWAR. Aside from the Pretty Mary Sunshine track, every track is hitting. But then, a massively overdriven groove metal riff swings its dick at you and some cool dude starts shout-rap-singing the following lyrics:

"You talk your shit but I ain't listenin' / And I don't do no ass-kissin' / Now here's the point that you've been missin' / No fuckin' problem at all"

And all of a sudden you are absolutely losing your shit, throwing yourself into walls, moshing with your pillows, and you need more Suicidal. So you track down the CD with this song on it, see that tracks 2-6 are called "Don't Give a Fuck", "No Fuck'n Problem", "Suicyco Muthafucka", "Fucked Up Just Right", and "No Bullshit", and you start levitating. You plop down the money, fire up the Discman, and following a terrible, cringe-inducing intro track that your dumb-ass thinks is hilarious, the album proper kicks off with:

"I don't give a shit / I don't give a fuck / Your opinion don't mean shit to me and your shit's about to fall"

Nothing could be better. You play it for all your dumb suburban adolescent friends and everyone agrees that it's the absolute shit, and all is well. Then one fine Friday at the youth fitness center, your fitness instructor hears you talking to your friend about this album, tells you how dumb you are, and lends you his copy of the self-titled, an absolute peerless 10/10 classic. Of course, it completely knocks your socks off. Plus you just so happen to be in the middle of deciding to be punk now so it works for your new personal brand. Pretty soon you're renouncing your love for Suicidal for Life, White Zombie, Metallica, Guns 'n' Roses, soccer and all the rest, and committing yourself to a life of NOFX, Crass, Op Ivy, and Dead Kennedys.

Somewhere, Adam Sandler sheds a single tear.

Then like 30 years later you randomly decide to put it on while you're doing pushups and you're like, "hey, if you ignore how terrible it is, it's actually pretty good!" You finish your pushups, sit on the couch listening to "Benediction" trail off for the first time since you shared bedroom walls with your sister and your parents, and you realize that finally, after all these years, you truly don't give a fuck again. And all is well.

Track listing:

1. Invocation

2. Don't Give a Fuck

3. No Fuck'n Problem

4. Suicyco Muthafucka

5. Fucked Up Just Right

6. No Bullshit

7. What Else Could I Do?

8. What You Need's a Friend

9. I Wouldn't Mind

10. Depression and Anguish

11. Evil

12. Love vs. Loneliness

13. Benediction

You ain't alive if you ain't livin'

You waste your life whinin' and snivelin'

So buckle up 'cause now I'm drivin'

No fuckin' problem at all

More dubious adolescent favorites:

Psychotica - Psychotica (1996)

Skrew - Shadow of Doubt (1996)

Gluecifer - Ridin' the Tiger (1997)

Absurd, debaucherous, full-tilt Norwegian punk rock and roll. As far as I'm concerned, they never made a better record. Pure, raw, coked-up chaotic energy to fuel your next bender. 

Track listing:

1. Leather Chair

2. Rock'n'Roll Asshole

3. Bounced Checks

4. Evil Matcher

5. Rockthrone

6. Burnin' White

7. Titanium Sunset

8. We're Out Loud

9. Obi Damned Kenobi

10. Under My Hood

11. Prime Mover

I'm the eye of the oily hurricane, baby

I'm the slayer of the dorks

Also listen to:

Rocky & the Sweden - Total Hard Core (1998)

Barebones - Ground (2001)

Black Widow - Sacrifice (1970)

An underground classic of British occult prog. If you like Hammond organ, saxophone, noodle-y solos, and Satan, you've come to the right place. 

Track listing:

1. In Ancient Days

2. Way to Power

3. Come to the Sabbat

4. Conjuration

5. Seduction

6. Attack of the Demon

7. Sacrifice

Come, come, come to the Sabbat

Come to the Sabbat

Satan's there!

You should also hear:

Aum - Resurrection (1969)

Horrific Child - L'Étrange Mr Winster (1976)

Nokemono - From the Black World (1979)

Old-school Japanese heavy metal with 70s hard rock leanings. From the Black World is the only album this band ever made, and it's a crying goddamn shame 'cause they fully delivered the goods.

Track listing:

1. Run Away

2. Terrible Night

3. 閉ざされた街

4. 失われた愛

5. Big Wednesday

6. From the Black World

7. Back Street

8. 灰に消えた過去

9. 蟻地獄

10. Run Away (Part II)

We're heading your way like dynamite

Also listen to:

Chateaux - Chained and Desperate (1983)

Blaspheme - Désire de Vampyr (1985)

Psychotica - Psychotica (1996)

[Editor's note: I think a demon possessed my body and mind while I was writing this. Or I blacked out. Why, of all the albums in the world, over 3,000 of which I have posted here, is this the album to which I would devote a legitimate write-up? Upon completing this post a little over a month ago, I immediately decided to shelve it out of sheer embarrassment. But shit, it's Halloween season, and I don't have anything else to post today. Enjoy.]

Psychotica were an NYC band whose brush with success can largely be attributed to scoring a spot in Lollapalooza '96, at which vocalist Pat Briggs presented himself as a glammed-up Marilyn Manson in silver spandex and poached a bunch of their mall-dwelling fans, myself included. (It's worth noting that Marilyn Manson had yet to go glam at this point, and I've always wondered if Psychotica had something to do with that eventuality. It's also worth noting that Marilyn Manson is a piece of shit.)

Musically, it's a fusion of alt, glam, goth, and hard rock that's bolstered by some pretty fucking weird choices. In addition to including a cellist, there's a second vocalist named Reeka who, despite being Swedish, delivers her demonic, hyper-rhythmic verses in a vaguely Jamaican accent. Meanwhile, Briggs spends most of the record delivering an actually pretty powerful, Bowie-aping performance; and a series of brief interludes gesture towards chamber music and 90s electronica.

It's weird, messy, and memorable, but make no mistake: it is not "good." My enjoyment of this record probably represents a lapse in taste on my part, and my posting of it doesn't mean that I think you're gonna like it. There are some very unfortunate moments. Like when he starts off "Stop" by snarling "Sex and drugs and rock and roll are not enough to feed my soul" over a bargain-bin rawk riff -- in fact, "Stop" flat-out sucks an entire ass -- or when Reeka appears to rap on "What Is God". The lyrics aren't great. "The Future" is a baffling vignette built around a generic techno beat and the sound of an old-school dial-up modem. And generally, they seem overly eager to say "fuck" a lot, like a bunch of edgy 13-year-olds.

But none of this has stopped me from coming back again and again over the years. The DEVO cover? Love it. A dejected power ballad based on The Little Prince? Love it more. That deranged reggae breakdown in "Starfucker Love"? Fucking love it even more. And "Ice Planet Hell" fully slaps. It's hard to imagine anyone discovering and enjoying this record in the year of our lord 2021, but I've been listening to a bunch of early adolescent favorites, I have spare time, and I have a music blog, so this is what you get. What's next, Hagfish? Trip 66? I listened to a lot of questionable shit back in the day! 

Postscript: In working on this post, I discovered this ancient, Tripod.com Psychotica fan page, last updated in August 1998, preserved on the web like a mosquito full of dino-DNA in amber. Too bad the guestbook isn't viewable, I bet there was some real gold in there.

Track listing:

1. Ice Planet Hell

2. The Worship

3. Starfucker Love

4. Little Prince

5. Stop

6. The Call

7. Freedom of Choice

8. 180°

9. The Sleep

10. Flesh & Bone

11. Blue Fear

12. What Is God

13. La Chocha

14. Barcelona

15. The Future

16. Cybernation

17. New Man

18. The Awakening

Jesus kissed me on my thigh

And Jesus loves me all the time

More 9th-grade favorites:

GWAR - America Must Be Destroyed (1991)

Machines of Loving Grace - Gilt (1995)

Earl Slick - Zig Zag (2003)

An excellent solo record of tight, punchy art rock by Earl Slick. Features a bunch of different vocalists -- most notably, Robert Smith and David Bowie, for whom Slick played guitar on and off dating back to the Diamond Dogs tour. "Isn't It Evening (The Revolutionary)" is pretty much a lost Bowie song. Sorry once again for hardly being on here anymore, but believe it or not, the dude running an mp3 blog in 2019 doesn't exactly have his shit together.

Track listing:
1. Dancing with Eleanor
2. Believe
3. Isn't It Evening (The Revolutionary)
4. 1735
5. Zig Zag
6. Pike St.
7. Crunched
8. St. Mark's Place
9. Psycho Twang
10. The Cat

I forget if it's always this way
I was told it was gold to this day

You'd also enjoy:

Daryl Hall -
Sacred Songs (1980)

Adrian Belew -
Lone Rhino (1982)

Outskirts of Infinity - Lord of the Dark Skies (1987)

Killer space rock from a power trio consisting of past and present members of The Bevis Frond. Did one of you tell me about this record? I downloaded it recently and have absolutely no recollection of how I found it. If so, holy shit, thank you.

Track listing:
1. Invocation / Warning
2. Gemini Machine
3. Eastern Spell
4. Stoned Crazy
5. Tales of Brave Ulysses
6. Eyes in the Back of My Head
7. Lord of the Dark Skies
8. Reaching Upwards
9. Celebration / Peace

You thought the leaden winter
Would bring you down forever
But you rode upon a steamer
To the violence of the sun

You'd also like:

Hairy Chapter -
Can't Get Through (1971)

Hawkwind -
Sonic Attack (1981)

Paul Chain Violet Theatre - In the Darkness (1986)

Italian outsider psych-doom. A thin, wavering voice and subtly idiosyncratic songs that are somewhere between St. Vitus and early Alice Cooper, with maybe a dash of Goblin. In a better, weirder world, Paul Chain would be a megastar, but as it is, he's a musical misfit with an utterly singular artistic vision and not a shot in hell at gaining a larger audience -- the epitome of a cult artist, essentially.

Track listing:
1. Welcome to My Hell
2. Meat
3. War
4. Crazy
5. Grey Life
6. Woman and Knife
7. Mortuary Hearse
8. In the Darkness

I am a crazy

You should also check out:

Druid - Vampire Cult (1989)
+ Four Curses (1986)

Goat Horn -
Voyage to Nowhere (2001)

Andrew W.K. - Party Til You Puke (2000)

So the other day Stereogum posted an article about the AWK conspiracy theories that've been hanging around since early in his career, which I'm not even gonna try to summarize here. At first, I was annoyed because a) it's been beat into the ground already and b) Andrew WK makes beautiful, perfect music that doesn't need to get muddied up by rumors based on what, if AWK were to be believed, amounts to a business partnership gone sour. However, the article isn't just a remarkably comprehensive analysis of said controversies, but actually functions as a complete re-evaluation of his work that aligns him with visionaries and reality-benders like Andy Kaufman and David Lynch.

Beyond all of that, though, it was a relief to see that I'm not the only fucking person in the world who noticed how fucking weird and dark a lot of his lyrics are. Take "I Love NYC" off of I Get Wet, for instance: while the meaning of lyrics such as "We are your mother-father/We are your fighter friend/You can't stop what you can't end" is anyone's guess, it is clear that "I Love NYC" is not, in fact, about loving NYC.

"Party 'Til You Puke" is another great example: what exactly do the lyrics "We dent/We dope/We choke/We gun/We kill/We stab/We rob/We steal" have to do with partying, exactly? Ponder this as you listen to the Party Til You Puke EP, which finds a young AWK presenting a raw, blown-out, but more-or-less fully-formed version of his id-driven insanity. It's way meatier than the below track listing might seem to suggest. And please, read the above-linked article, it blew my goddamn mind.

Track listing:
1. Party Til You Puke
2. Party Til You Puke (Remix)
3. Party Til You Puke (Shout Out Mix)
4. Dance Party (Anti Never Ending Music Mix)
5. I Want to Kill (Built It Up Mix)
6. Old Man [Couch cover]

We're not gonna die, and you can never kill us
We're not gonna die, and you can never hurt us

Bill Ward - Ward One: Along the Way (1990)

The awesomely weird debut solo album from the great Bill Ward. In addition to the expected dark, driving metal, there's a strain of sprawling, Floyd-ian prog and psych. Add in Ward's thin but effective vocals, a pair of guest spots from one Mr. Osbourne, and some baffling production choices, and you're looking at an unexpectedly idiosyncratic good time.

Track listing:
1. Shooting Gallery (Mobile)
2. Short Stories
3. Bombers (Can Open Bomb Bays)
4. Punk Clouds an Island
5. Light Up the Candles (Let There Be Peace Tonight)
6. Snakes and Ladders
7. Jack's Land
8. Living Naked
9. Music for a Raw Nerve Ending
10. Tall Stories
11. Sweep
12. Along the Way

Consider this a warning

You should also listen to:

Crimson Glory -
Crimson Glory (1986)

Black Sabbath -
Dehumanizer (1992)

Rock Goddess - Rock Goddess (1983)

Oh, this? Just a power trio of badass ladies playing kickass, hard-hitting, high-energy hair metal, no big deal. Not a power ballad in sight, either.

Track listing:
1. Heartache
2. Back to You
3. The Love Lingers Still
4. To Be Betrayed
5. Take Your Love Away
6. My Angel
7. Satisfied Then Crucified
8. Start Running
9. One Way Love
10. Make My Night
11. Heavy Metal Rock 'n' Roll

See how I died

Also listen to:

Hawkwind -
Sonic Attack (1981)

Grave Digger -
Heart of Darkness (1995)

T. Rex - Futuristic Dragon (1976)

Possibly my favorite T. Rex outside of the classic era. Marc Bolan has soundtracked some of the best moments of my life, and there's a reason for that: at its best, it's some of the greatest, most joyful music in existence.

Track listing:
1. Futuristic Dragon (Introduction)
2. Jupiter Liar
3. Chrome Sitar
4. All Alone
5. New York City
6. My Little Baby
7. Calling All Destroyers
8. Theme for a Dragon
9. Sensation Boulevard
10. Ride My Wheels
11. Dreamy Lady
12. Dawn Storm
13. Casual Agent

Did you ever see a woman
Coming out of New York City
With a frog in her hand?

You might also wanna hear:

Babe Ruth -
First Base (1972)

Wizzard -
Wizzard Brew (1973)

Hawkwind - Sonic Attack (1981)

In light of a number of conversations I've had recently, it would seem that a disconcerting number of music fans have only listened to Hawkwind's earliest material. Y'all need to wake up, cause they've stayed putting out great albums this whole time, including this synth-soaked gem from '81. Sonic Attack has a driving, sharp feel that subtly hints at punk and new wave while staying the course of massive, world-shaking space rock.

Track listing:
1. Sonic Attack
2. Rocky Paths
3. Psychosonia
4. Virgin of the World
5. Angels of Death
6. Living on a Knife Edge
7. Coded Languages
8. Disintegration
9. Streets of Fear
10. Lost Chances

Dangerous visions

You should also listen to:

Gila -
Gila: Free Electric Sound (1971)

Acid Mothers Temple
& the Melting Paraiso U.F.O. -
Wild Gals A Go-Go (1999)

Hairy Chapter - Can't Get Through (1971)

German heavy psych. Long, jam-y songs that bring the riffage and the solos, plus some killer drumming, and none of the wannabe-bluesy cheese that plagued a lot of their peers. Smoke a spliff and listen to this somewhere sunny.

Track listing:
1. There's a Kind of Nothing
2. Can't Get Through
3. It Must Be an Officer's Daughter
4. As We Crossed Over
5. You've Got to Follow This Masquerade

Looking for a decent freedom

You should also check out:

Bulbous Creation -
You Won't Remember Dying (1971)

Leaf Hound -
Growers of Mushroom (1971)

Mariah - Yen Tricks (1980)

Weird-ass, all-over-the-place Japanese prog. Mariah is the kind of band that moves from sharp, dissonant modern classical to anthemic hard rock to laid-back fusion to a bunch of other styles like it's no big deal. Like, to the point where I'm reminded of early Mr. Bungle.

Track listing:
1. Yen Tricks
2. Key of Gold
3. Distant Rainbow
4. Black Mariah
5. Let It Blow
6. We Are the Same
7. Burning P.M.
8. Fate

None of them knew they were robots

If you like this, you might like:

Don Muro -
It's Time (1977)

Un Festín Sagital ‎-
Sic Deus Dilexit Mundum (2012)

Nightwing - Something in the Air (1980)

British hard rockin' glory that's riiiiight on the edge of heavy metal. It's that time of year, y'all. I dunno what it is, but stuff like this sounds so much better when you're wearing shades, shorts, and a sweat-soaked T-shirt. If you dig Blue Öyster Cult circa Fire of Unknown Origin, this one's a no-brainer.

Track listing:
1. Fantasia
2. Nightwing
3. Cold Love
4. Edge of a Knife
5. Something in the Air
6. Barrel of Pain
7. Boogie Woman
8. You Keep Me Hanging On
9. Fantasia Reprise

Your time has come

For more like this, try:

Babe Ruth -
First Base (1972)

Dust -
Hard Attack (1972)

Leaf Hound - Growers of Mushroom (1971)

Raw, heavy psych perfection. Blown-out, riff-y guitars, busy drumming, and a hair farmer howling about boning, doing drugs, feeling down, and being a good man. A record nerd classic.

Track listing:
1. Freelance Fiend
2. Sad Road to the Sea
3. Drowned My Life in Fear
4. Work My Body
5. Stray
6. With a Minute to Go
7. Growers of Mushroom
8. Stagnant Pool
9. Sawdust Caesar
10. It's Gonna Get Better [bonus]
11. Hip Shaker [bonus]

Went and blew it all

You'll also dig:

Night Shadow -
The Square Root of Two (1968)

Råg I Ryggen -
Råg I Ryggen (1975)

Camel - Moonmadness (1976)

Elite-tier prog. Lots of synths on this one, and an overall more laid-back feel than their previous records. Of course, there's still plenty of noodle-y instrumental sections, so don't you worry about that. Also: some of the best production I've ever heard. So clear and crisp, but warm and pillowy.

I only recently heard Moonmadness for the first time -- I made the mistake of trusting this dumb-dumb who told me that Mirage and The Snow Goose were their only good records, and it took me years to realize how wrong he was -- so it's probably too soon to tell, but it might be my favorite Camel. At the very least, it's as good as their first three.

Track listing:
1. Aristillus
2. Song Within a Song
3. Chord Change
4. Spirit of the Water
5. Another Night
6. Air Born
7. Lunar Sea

So far beyond the sky
Not knowing how or why
You realize this feeling is forever

You should also check out:

Earth and Fire -
Atlantis (1973)

Nektar - Remember the Future
(1973) + Magic Is a Child (1977)

Brats - 1980 Brats (1980)

Related:
King Diamond - The Eye (1990)
Mercyful Fate - Return of the Vampire (1992)

Brats were a short-lived band whose only LP is a killer fusion of punk, hard rock, and heavy metal. Despite the record's awesomeness, it likely would have faded into utter obscurity (as opposed to semi-obscurity) if, shortly after it came out, then-guitarist/vocalist Hank Shermann hadn't recruited a young King fucking Diamond to take over lead vocal duties, thereby planting the seeds for Mercyful fucking Fate.

Track listing:
1. Oy-905
2. Tame Me (Insomniac)
3. B-Brains
4. Punk Fashion
5. Complex (Don't Destroy Me)
6. Fuel
7. Heavy Rocker
8. Pinned on My Eyelids
9. Sense My Boy
10. Ogcah Ghaszlihr
11. Accepted
12. Zombie People

Invade another head

You should also listen to:

Dust -
Hard Attack (1972)

Tom Robinson Band -
Power in the Darkness (1978)

Barebones - Ground (2001)

Heavy, raw Japanese hardcore/garage for railing speed and burning rubber. Found 'em via their split with Boris. Buckle up, baby.

Track listing:
1. Speed Freak
2. Borderline
3. Drive 'Til the End
4. Insensitive
5. Red Stone
6. Dirt Slider
7. Black Dealer
8. Primitive Blood
9. Standing on the Verge
10. Shoot Up and Die
11. One

Still unknown

If you like this, try:

Fudge Tunnel - Hate Songs in A Minor (1991)

The Catalyst - Voyager (2012)